What's your unique gift to the world? Here's mine.
The concept of school is kind of funny. We task kids with being good at everything. Math, languages, sciences, art, physical education, and so on. All this sounds normal, right? That's what school is, after all. But what if we were to ask adults to be good at everything? Not only at your specific profession, but also to be able to fix everything around the house, do your own taxes, change your own motor oil, adeptly cook your own meals, and maybe throw in a musical instrument?
Life is beautiful, and indeed there is so much fulfillment around us to be found. Along with that notion, we can't expect ourselves to be naturally A+ performers in everything we engage. This realization creates space for us to have empathy for students who struggle. The antidotes to such struggle, same as they've always been, are to face the lion head on, and to ask for help. I've gotten into the habit of being vulnerable at places like Home Depot, for example. I tell the dudes working there that I wish I knew more about all this stuff, how the vastness of knowledge in the store overwhelms me, and how I have to push away feelings of inadequacy imprinted in my psyche. You know the trope: men are supposed to be handy around the house. Not this guy, so much. And don't even get me started about Ikea.
My first Head-of-School and longstanding mentor Dr. Bruce Powell charged the faculty with "helping the students to find their unique gift." That is to say: what value or purpose can each person bring to the world, and how can we as teachers flesh that out of them? I’ve been reflecting on what my "gifts" are, and two come to mind. The first is math capability. It’s nice to be able to look at a page and immediately know what it’s about. The second is the layer below that, namely, my outright obsession with best practices in teaching.
For instance, here’s a thought exercise for you. Think of ten ways to say, “try again” that range from entirely shutting a kid down, up to vaguely annoyed, up to neutral, up to encouraging but not over-the-top, and finally to hyper-praiseworthy and thus counterproductive. Can you feel how slight changes in intonation affect the spirit behind our words?
This is a sampling of ideas that I sit around, think about, and practice daily with my students:
when to speed up for effect
when to slow down for clarity
when to repeat myself for gravity
when humor helps, or when it’s poison
when to lead, and when to follow
when to clam up (a true art form)
We all know that feeling when a student lights up while learning. The signs are as clear as sunshine: high energy, brightness in the face and eyes, an endless of buffet of questions asked, and then sharing what they’ve learned with others. Speaking on behalf of all of us reading this: teachers, parents, coaches, and anyone in a leadership role… I’m going on record to say:
Fostering inspired learning is one of the best life gifts we can give to the people around us.
The purpose of this message is to offer you two dynamic examples that showcase what I believe to be elevated teaching practices. They feature each of my daughters. The risk of filming the learning process with my own blood is both an advantage, as well as a handicap. Among the advantages are that I have a clear idea of what they’re each capable of, and that a deep state of love fuels all my behaviors. Among the disadvantages are contending both with an ever-growing history between us, as well as with my own subconscious narratives I have about them, or myself, as a father or teacher.
The math content I chose to impart is simultaneously thought-provoking for adults as it is age-appropriate for kids. The lessons dive into combinatorics, which I informally define as the act of playing around with number groups. I’ve witnessed time and again in high school classes how those students who have a knack for listing out all possible scenarios, hopefully through the use of a logical system, are the ones who have a smooth and positive experience while learning. Plus, half the time during my university computer science classes was spent systematically outlining every applicable situation our computer programs would encounter. Hence this focus with my 5- and 7-year-olds.
So you’re invited to watch these clips with two different hats. The first hat is the left-brain-centered focus on the math ideas at play. Such ideas include number flexibility, systematic thinking, and various ways to achieve equal outcomes. The second hat is the right-brain-centered focus on the art of connecting to the learners as individuals. Do you see unconditional love and acceptance in the air? Do you see my desire for their growth and progression, or the simple hope that I make it both productive and fun for them? Even the natural scenery adds a pleasant peace to the vibe.
To fully portray how much nuance goes into igniting deep and meaningful learning, I’ve included timestamped breakdowns of every subtle exchange between us. I recognize that what follows is a lot of text. But I asked myself, "What do I hope Home Depot dude would do if I was really intent on learning the stuff?" The answer, undoubtedly, would be for him to take his time and explain the stuff to me, breakin